I allot a day of surfing all of my favorite photography sites and today, sunday, is the day, with all morning spent awake when I'm here in Tacloban. I came across my teacher, sir jo avila's blog. In his most recent entry, he talked about discipline and working towards a goal. He told us that his big belly is advantageous in steadying his arms when shooting and thus, avoiding camera shake (a problem I'm still struggling with), but he's now starting to shed those extra pounds off and he still has a long way to go. In the end, he likened his experience at the gym with his experience as a photographer...
It’s the same thing that I tell prospective students. A question often asked is if they will good photographers after they attend my photography seminar. I have to be honest and I tell them that there is no guarantee.
All that I try to provide is basic knowledge, a basic workflow and a mindset. It still up to them to gain the experience in order to improve and hone their craft.
This is one of the reasons why I hate having to answer questions about how long I’ve been a photographer. Some students are crestfallen because they feel that they want to be good now.
I also feel that there is a hesitancy sometimes to pay the proper dues.
Experience coupled with experimentation is a great teacher. So what if you can’t be a great photographer today? Be grateful when someone compliments you on a photo. Remember the little lessons and tips that you learn along the way. A bit of introspection helps. We all can’t be great photographers now (myself included).
Excelling in photography is achievable with enough time and if your mind believes it."
Who am I annoyed at? Myself! Because, I, too, feel that I have to be a good photographer now. But without the equipments, I feel disabled to push my skills a bit further. The amount of time involved in post-processing is tedious work. I don't have the patience to learn all the new technical stuff needed to support this craft. The price involved in printing the images does not come cheap. Taking note of Sir Jo's words, the photographic experience is not achieved unless a print of the image is made.
I am annoyed and equally envious at people who can afford and own a digital SLR in a snap without much regard to the composition, stories, "eye", effect, technicalities, maintenance and much more that photography requires. It annoys me to know that the camera ends up being stocked in its box, or worse, being used to take mindless snapshots. Just buy a point and shoot for that one. On one of our small talks about photography, J and I heaved a sigh when we realized that more and more people are becoming interested in photography because it is the "in" thing, and not because they have the genuine zest for it.
I am becoming more annoyed because my annoyance is causing me to retract a bit.
*insert* With the phone sitting just beside this computer, my sister, Ate Raissa, called and interrupted my momentary annoyance, to ask me to shoot Tacloban for An Taclobanon Association. Hehe! Yehey!
I am still a little annoyed, at my sister too, because she owns a Nikon D80 but she spends more time at the mall or online looking for more things to buy than using her camera. Haha! Kidding! *end*
I have had a few offers though, but I got scared that I might not be able to produce the images that they expected from me. That's why I couldn't bring myself to commit. I do not have the guts to tough it out and move on from my cutesy pa-tootsy shots. But, If they noticed and actually offered, then they must believe that I can deliver. My mind, then, needs to believe more that I can do this and I can be better.
In the end, I am most annoyed at myself that my negativity is holding back my photographic growth and most envious of people who may not have the "eye" for photography but they have the guts, loads of it.
Most often than not, I am my own worst enemy! I need a shrink! Haha!
I am still a little annoyed, at my sister too, because she owns a Nikon D80 but she spends more time at the mall or online looking for more things to buy than using her camera. Haha! Kidding! *end* 
